Self Care

Transcript from The Radical RMT Podcast #030 - Randi Kay

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This episode features Randi Kay, a massage therapist and yoga instructor from Fargo, North Dakota, who helps her clients discover intuitive healing that leads to the best self-care for their body. She has her own podcast called simple self-care where she interviews guests and shares her own wisdom on simplifying seasonal living and intelligent body awareness. She has been featured on the minimalist podcast and I'm grateful to have the opportunity to speak with her. Please enjoy this episode with Randi Kay.


This is the radical RMT podcast where I talk to radical massage therapists chat about the unique lifestyle we have in this profession and cover topics we care about beyond the massage table. My name is Krista Dicks. I'm a registered massage therapist with over a decade of experience. If you want an inspiring career that leads to an incredible life. Stay tuned.


 

Krista Dicks: Randi, thank you so much for being a guest on the radical RMT podcast. I am super grateful that you've taken some time this morning to chat with me.


Randi Kay: Yeah, thank you for having me.


Krista Dicks: You are a seasoned veteran when it comes to podcasts. You have your own podcast called “Simple Self-Care”. How long have you been doing that podcast for now?


Randi Kay: Oh, gosh, it's been a couple of years now. And it kind of just started as something that sounded fun to do. Because I like producing things. And I had been blogging and growing a newsletter about self-care for a while before that. And so I'm just like, well, might as well give this a whirl. And I had no strategy. I had no like, launch. I just recorded a few episodes and then just kind of went from there. So and it's grown a ton. And it's really fun and a big part of my business now. But yeah, podcasting is an adventure for sure.


Krista Dicks: Yeah, absolutely. So you describe yourself, you're a massage therapist, you teach therapeutic yoga, you're both a massage, like a certified massage therapist, and you're a certified yoga instructor. And then you book through both of those practices you teach about, like you're in the inner wisdom that we all have, and how we can begin to heal ourselves just by listening to that inner wisdom. Can you give us your bio, like, can we learn more about you how you got interested in the work that you do and how it evolved?


Randi Kay: Sure, yeah, I think with a lot of people in the healing industry. It comes from personal experience, and a personal storyline or evolution of our own healing. And so for me, I was diagnosed as a term I use loosely, but with depression as a teenager. And so I just, I really just started experimenting with what helps me function like a normal person. And I and I didn't want to be a depressed person my whole life. And so I just was doing medication, I was doing therapy, I was doing all sorts of stuff. And I really didn't start to see progress with that until I started learning how my body actually works, what different aspects of what depression could be and where it could be coming from and experimenting with my lifestyle. And I have always been interested in massage therapy for some reason, I think it was because I grew up a theater kid, and we just gave each other back rubs all the time. Very touchy group of people.


Krista Dicks: I have heard that before.


Randi Kay: And I have two older brothers that always made me give them back massages and stuff. And so I don't know, it just I liked that aspect. And then I started learning more about my own healing and what was helpful. And so I just decided randomly to go to massage school. And once I got there, it was like everything clicked. And I just loved learning how to really heal something. And then I immediately started applying that to myself. And I started experimenting with my diet and with yoga and meditation and being out in nature and just getting away from more of the clinical traditional approaches to mental health and health in general, and trying to heal aspects of my body. And I just went down that rabbit hole, I loved learning about it. And then seeing those results with clients very quickly and helping them use their body as a way to tune into deeper things that were going on. And the great thing about being a massage therapist is that you have to take continuing education to stay licensed. I just got to do cool trainings all the time. And I've traveled all over the world, doing trainings, and then eventually became a yoga teacher. And I have a travel junkie, so I kind of use that as an excuse to go to cool places, learning adventure that's been really fulfilling.


And as the work evolved, and as my business evolved, I started to think of like, well, what am I really helping people do like all of these different aspects of healing that I've learned? What's the point of it, you know, like, I don't want people to just come to me, and I fix their neck pain, and then send them on their way, and they become dependent on me or other practitioners like, true healing and the role of a healer is to help people heal themselves, and to really find those root causes. And so eventually, it's, that's why I started writing about self-care, before self-care was a cool thing to do. I've just like, how do you make your lifestyle healthy, because that's where it all comes from. It comes from how we're living day to day, moment to moment. And if we approach our healing, any other way, it's not really going to heal us, we have to approach our healing, day to day moment to moment if we're going to change who we are over time. And so I do bodywork, still, after all these years, because it's a great gateway, it's a tangible way for people to feel what's going on, in all these other layers on themselves. And because touch is just so important in our world today. So it's, yeah, so this is kind of a long tangent I'm going on. But it started with my own healing and trying to not have a diagnosis define me and to have a healthy relationship with it. Depression, in my circumstance, doesn't go away. It's not all of a sudden, I healed it. But I, I feel that I am healed with it. I feel like I know, myself and my depression well enough to use it as a powerful tool in my life and a powerful part of myself that makes me good at what I do and makes me sensitive and all these other positive qualities. And so that has motivated the work that I do in the education that I get, and how I tried to approach healing for other people is how can we be at peace with our pain? How can we be at peace with the things that our bodies and our lifestyles that are somewhat out of our control? And how can we really feel empowered, around the things that are in our control? And so that motivator has given me the bandwidth to be able to take it to online courses and the podcast and really trying to teach make it accessible for people to learn these other aspects of healing themselves?


Krista Dicks: That's awesome. So yeah, so many directions that I want to go with that. So you're in the states you're in Fargo, North Dakota, correct?


Randi Kay: Yep.


Krista Dicks: And so in Ontario, and then in Canada, you know, we have just some different regulations and different ways that we can operate within our scope of practice. And I have been really fascinated by trying to break down those layers from like, the touch aspects that this person keeps coming back in, like, as you said, with neck pain, then they become dependent on you. Or, or low back pain, you know, and, and we as practitioners, if we're willing to do the work, and we're willing to learn, learn more, we've done a lot of self-development, you know, you can start to understand that the certain parts of the body are connected to certain life events or certain emotions, but it's very difficult in our profession to sort of cross that barrier like that, and to just sort of introduce like that conversation while they're on the table and can you describe how you initiated it? Or was it how did you bring that into your practice? Or was it just a just right from the beginning is something that like, Did it go from body work then to that and I know you've described the mind body connection before how there really is no mind and no body it is one. But yeah, so can off my tangent can then you describe how you discovered and that was your best approach and how it was perceived?


Randi Kay: Yah that is a really good question. It happened somewhat organically just because of how I am people have kind of always opened up about random things to me whether I ask them to or not. And so then I just, I kind of always brought it back to my scope of practice, like, very clear on what I'm able to do and what I'm not. And so if people go off on something that I know that I'm not qualified to treat, I say, well how do you think this applies to your neck pain? How do you think this applies to your energy levels, like, and just making those connections and connecting the dots that what is happening in their daily life and the emotions they're feeling is directly being reflected into their bodies. So one way I've worked around that is, with the intake process, I have a very lengthy intake form that people fill out. And we cover a lot of ground, in that and I ask questions about their stress about how they feel about themselves in their body, and the goals that they have with their health. And when we start talking about that, even though I'm just filling out the intake form, they're answering a lot of their own questions, and they're making a lot of their own connections. And so it's just facilitating an opportunity for them to have the light bulbs go off. And then I have a lot of, I educate a lot about anatomy, about the pain signal about the stress response, and just let them know how their body works. And so people that don't like that don't come back to me. I’m very clear with people. And I've gotten to the point where, you know, I'll meet someone, like, at the grocery store, wherever you meet people these days, I don't know, randomly talking to someone and I tell them what I do, and I'm like, Oh, I got to come into you, my back's been killing me. And I'm, I initially want to be like, I don't know, if I'm your person, like, You don't just come to me to be fixed, you know, I tend to just attract people and hold space for people that really want to heal their lifestyles. And so I make that clear, with my intake form. And with my follow up, and on my website, and I just am very clear about what my goals are with people. And then I start to attract those people more and more that want to go there.


But, you know, like I said, you need to be careful about your scope of practice and the language that you use. And because it's all tied together, you can always bring it back, like when I do self-care, mentoring with people. I'm not a therapist, I'm not those kinds of things. And so when we go off those things, well, how do you feel like what the work actually tagged team with a lot of therapists, so we will discover something mentally, cognitively. And then I'm like, well, how do you want to treat that with a daily habit, with a daily ritual that can calm down your nervous system, and help you feel empowered in your body or help you gain confidence in XYZ. And so it's just listening and honoring them in that process. And then bringing it back to the great thing that we get to do as therapists, massage therapists, is work with that tangible stuff and work with that physical expression of these underlying things. But if as practitioners, we don't recognize that it's an underlying thing, you know, we can only go so far with our progress as well. And then you have a team of healers, and practitioners that you refer to, I have therapists, counselors, doctors that refer to me and I refer to them. So that's where we get to be in a community of healing and not be so protective of our clients, and think that it's a competition or whatever, like, and I refer clients to other massage therapists that have different specialties then me. And it's been very fulfilling to create a community around healing and around the client. And I actually have more clients because I do that. So it's just kind of switching that mindset until like, personally as a practitioner, what are you about, what is the purpose of what you're doing and what do you truly want to give to the people that you work on? And when we can focus on that, then all these opportunities come about and clarity comes about and we're able to go deeper, we can only go with people where we've gone ourselves. So that's the fun part about doing our personal healing, I guess..


Krista Dicks: Absolutely. So what do you define as self-care? It is a buzzword. But how would you describe it?


Randi Kay: I have come up with a little definition of, it's the act of tuning into your true needs, and then acting accordingly. So it can include, had a curious bubble baths, you know, all that stuff. But as long as those are activities that allow you to check in to yourself and not check out, there's a lot of like, checking out a stigma that people say, with self-care, to escape, I just need to blah blah blah. And it's like, we want to do things that allow us to, like, what's the best gateway to our inner wisdom. And then the second half is honoring what you hear, you're acting on those nudges and the intuition that you get, and that's where it gets kind of tricky. And I work a lot with my students and clients on learning what their inner wisdom actually sounds like. But that's an aspect of self-care that we don't even think about. So we've trained ourselves to become this very external culture, where we're always looking outside of ourselves, like, Okay, I know, I need to do self-care, let me go look on Instagram, what everyone's doing for self-care. And so I have a membership, a seasonal healing membership that I just started and right now, as a group, we're working on that inner wisdom part. And it's difficult to teach, because I'm like, you’re not going to learn it from me, I can teach you what it is and how maybe you can access it. But like, when we embark on a healing journey, we have to be willing to do the work that it takes, and not just seek out these external sources. And so really, creating a safe space for you to tune into yourself. And all that is there, I think is what the essence of self-care is, how can you build a trusting relationship with yourself, so you can let your guard down, and you can calm down the nervous system, and the adrenaline that's going all the time, especially in our world today, where there's a lot of fear and a lot of unknown, even subconsciously, you know, we need to be doing these practices, we don't lose it, you know, it's okay to lose it every once in a while, this work is needed. So we can continue to show up in and evolve with how our world is evolving. So generally speaking, self-care is this really powerful way of creating an intimate relationship with ourselves so we can make our own decisions on what we need. And when our practices are going to be sustainable. They're not going to be sustainable, if we're looking at what so and so is doing and we try to do what they're doing. Because your body is not their body. Your life isn't their life, it's very unique set of circumstances. And our bodies have completely different stories. So when we start following the nudges on what we need, then that's when we can create practices that move past the fluff and buff and into practices that are actually healing us on a cellular level.


Krista Dicks: For sure, how did how do you think we got so disconnected? Like, why do we continue to seek the external to ignore or drown out that inner wisdom that we're completely guilty of it, as well. Like, how, how do you feel that like, you did mention fear as well, but how did we get to disconnect?


Randi Kay: It's been happening for generations. I've really been digging into some of the history of how we've gotten to this point, and it's very interesting and depressing. And I've had to set some boundaries around that. So we won't go down that rabbit hole right now. But maybe right from right now working backwards. We are more connected to what everyone else is doing more than ever, we can see what people are eating, and what they think of everything and what they're doing. And you know, it just and then the news has been created to invoke fear and drama and entertainment and what we watch, like everything we consume, our bodies process, everything we put on our body, and then marketing. So as a business owner, I've learned a lot about marketing. And there's something called emotional marketing, where they get into your head and your emotions, to convince you to buy something and work from that space of you don't have enough, like, our whole culture for decades, if not longer has been convincing us that we are not enough, you know, we go to school where we don't know the information we go to, you know, I don't want to diss any religious institutions, but there's a lot going on and within those that aren't the healthiest about even how to connect with your own spirituality, there's a recipe for that you have to follow. And so like, it's just ingrained in almost every aspect of what we're doing, to whether it was intentional or not, I don't think that there's just these evil people sitting around being like, how can we ruin all the humans? Like, maybe I know they're there, but I don't know how much power they actually have. But like, so that's just something I always tried to acknowledge.


And I'm glad you asked that question it’s because we think it's all our fault. We think that we're flawed because we feel anxiety. And because we can't relax. And because it looks like so and so knows how to relax, but I can't relax, like what's wrong with me, you know, and I'm guilty of that, too. Like, of just feeling like, I should be like this, or I should be like that person. You know, even thoughts I had this morning about, I'm pregnant for the first time, thinking like, I'm a holistic healer, I need to have this perfect pregnancy, or I'm never cranky, and I don't get any zits. And I like my, you know, like, there's all these stories that we tell ourselves that just come to us. And that's, I think, the other important part of clearing the clutter of what we're consuming, and taking a moment to really check in with ourselves and tune into this really beautiful part of who we are. And I think of it as like, as you would look at your own child, like, can you look at yourself that way? And tune into that really wonderful part of you and be like, what do you need? And sorry, I have been listening, and function from that space as frequently as possible. Because if we don't, then all those other people win, you know, all that negative garbage out there, wins. And I think that's why we have so many issues in our culture is because we don't have the resources or even the encouragement or the education to be healthy, and to truly be healthy, on like a core level. And so I bring this all back to my scope of practice, which is self-care, how can we make our lifestyle? And what we choose to do for healing, powerful, effective, and empowering, and a way a physical, tangible way for us to counter all of the negative stuff that's happening in the world, and to make space for the positive stuff that's happening to allow ourselves to feel joy. If you're stressed all the time, and your neck hurts all the time, and you're not eating well. How are you supposed to enjoy your life, you know? So it's really this, you know, I just keep coming back to what I know. And what I've used. There are all these complex issues that we're just starting to tackle and as a culture right now, which is very exciting, but it's going to be very messy, very uncomfortable, and very painful. And that is out of my scope of practice. In a lot of ways, so we just keep coming back to we just forget, or we don't think that these ways of caring for ourselves is how we change the world, but it kind of is. So that's what I believe at least.


Krista Dicks: That's awesome. Do you have a different definition for self-love, then is that another buzzword?


Randi Kay: I guess I haven't created a definition for that. But I feel like self-care is an expression of self-love. So self-love is a, I have a little guide on my website right now, cultivating self-love. So I guess I have a definition. But um, it's more of showing up for yourself. And why I'd call it cultivating self-love is because we already have it. A lot of people think like, well, how do I love myself? And I don't know, and that's so weird. But it's already within us, or else we wouldn't brush our teeth, eat food, you know, we wouldn't be doing anything. And so it's there. Because at our core level without thinking about it, we love ourselves, we care for ourselves. And so it's a matter of, how do you tune into that, and amplify that. And that's where I think self-care falls into it, is, it's a tangible way of showing up for yourself and being like, you deserve it. And there's lots of fun ways to cultivate that. But I think it's tuning into the love that's already there. And one thing that I do is I just look at myself in the mirror, like, I stare into my eyes. I try to like without any filters, and I look at my body, and I approach all those negative thoughts that initially come. And then I look at the parts of my body that I love, and I look at the parts, I think of all my bodies done for me now. And look at how I've still been able to function and do all that I do, regardless of how I treat it and I'm really into body oiling. So taking herb infused body oils, and rubbing them all over my body, and just appreciating so. So it can look a bunch of different ways. And I guess I'm now I'm just thinking about how I like show self-love and thinking about that my brain. But like it's a practice, all of these ideas are actual practices you need to be doing in your life. That's how it looks for me. But it really Yeah, it's a choice. Even if you don't believe it, you're still going to choose to cultivate the practice. Like, I want to feel more self-love. So I'm going to choose a couple of things that feel like an expression of that, and, experiment with it and get curious with it. And let those practices evolve, and practicing gratitude. And I think all those things are just really important. And then it just starts to creep in over time. Especially when you feel healthier in your body. You're able to access the like I said the positive things and make space for those things. But yeah, it's tricky. It's tricky to sift through all the gunk, but I promise that you already have it. It's just exposing it and not overthinking it.


Krista Dicks: Right. And then having that practice obviously helps you show up for your clients better as well and your family, your friends, your entire your entire life as well. Just being just having those practices and just building that habit. Of course it's going to start to show up another ways that will benefit everybody.


Randi Kay: I look at self-care also as part of my job description. Especially as a body worker, like I think all of us I don't know, hopefully you haven't, but I know I have experienced going to a very going to massage therapists that is not taking care of themselves and they get all of their energy, all their stress on me and I left those sessions feeling like crap and a little violated. But I'm also extra sensitive to energy. But yeah. But like, we are very important space holders. And how we are, and how we approach somebody's body is just so important. And so if I don't do what I do before sessions, to ground myself, and to set the right intentions, it's just not good for anybody. So it's a part of my like, opening the studio, opening my practice rituals. And I do speak to a lot of different businesses and how to incorporate self-care into the workplace. And I invite them to make it part of their job description too, because especially a lot of people in leadership positions. It's like, how you are affects how everyone is. And if you show up leading with your stress and pain, then that's, like, think of the people that you look up to, you know, like, are they leading with that? It's just not, it just doesn't make any sense. So that's a big motivator for me. And it's, it's a big motivator for managing my depression and staying in the arena, as they say, because it serves my own health, but it makes me better at what I do. And if I didn't do any of that, I probably wouldn't have any returning clients. I don't think.


Krista Dicks: Yeah, it'd be different, a different clientele altogether. But why is there so much, I mean, we kind of did touch on it, but why is there so much guilt around self-care?


Randi Kay: This comes up a lot. I think also, it's been happening for generations and generations. And, but I think our current generation is finally moving away from self-care is selfish kind of a thing and like glorifying busyness. I think we're finally starting to wise up a little bit more but this way of operating has been going on for a very long time. And thinking that we have to sacrifice all of who we are to be successful, or to be a good parent, to be a good anything, you have to forget who you are. And we're finding with those generations, all of their health issues now. And all of the wishes they have as they are moving away from this earth. The regrets that they had, is caring so much about that stuff, and not caring about their health enough. And especially, you know, going through our current world situation, where we're down to the bare necessity, or learning a lot of the stuff we were doing was unnecessary, and it wasn't making us happy. And we were missing out on a lot of the stuff that really matters. And so when guilt comes up, I think it's an opportunity to get curious with it. That's like how I mentioned like approaching my depression, like when it shows up. Why are you here? What do you have to say? So when guilt shows up a lot of the time, it's either old programming of something we get to say thank you for sharing, I'm choosing something else. Or it is actually our inner wisdom that's getting kind of manipulated into a guilt type feeling. So it's like I feel guilty I didn’t exercise today. Well why? is it because you have an unrealistic expectation of what your exercise looks like right now. And it's not right for you? Or is it something your body just really wants to do and you're not doing it? And so, all of these negative emotions, feeling selfish, feeling guilty, all of this stuff not worthy. We get to just be like, why is this here? why am I feeling this way? And is it justified? And if it is justified, how can I switch that wording or phrase and turn it into something that serves me? So with all the “shoulds” in our lives, like I should do this, I should do that. Instead ask why should I? And when you answer those questions, you're going to get a lot of clarity. So a lot of this stuff is kind of sticking it, sticking it to the man so to speak, or whomever engrain these ways of thinking into you. But it's, it's breaking those thought patterns and using it as something powerful. And that will actually get us to do something. And I always say to with my students, like, if you create a self-care practice or something you want to do, and it's laden with feelings of guilt or anxiety, then it's not the right plan for you. And you get to modify and modify until it's something that's accessible and easy and joyful. Because if your self-care practice has any of those negative aspects, how much is really self-care, it's not. And so that's the other a powerful thing about being able to tune into yourself, and not have expectations of what it has to look like. And just start with where you're actually at.


Krista Dicks: You also teach on this seasons, and seasonal healing and the way that we can approach our own inner wisdom during each season, I find this really fascinating. And I, you know, I purposely didn't go, I didn't want to learn too much about it, because I did want to I mean, when I learned that you teach it, then I wanted to learn more from you about it. So how do you like, how do you teach on that? And how do you bring that into your life? I just think it's really, really interesting. Because there are obvious seasons to our year, and there must be ways that we can approach each season differently, and what does each season mean? And maybe creatively, you know, emotionally, spiritually. But yeah, I would love to learn more about how you approach the seasons in your own practice, and maybe how listeners can potentially approach either the current season or the next season?


Randi Kay: Yeah it’s a really fun aspect to start to teach. But it kind of came into my life again, very naturally, and not really on purpose. So I live, like you mentioned in Fargo, North Dakota, where winter is very dominant, and extreme and challenging. And I didn't, I grew up in Fargo, but I moved away for a long time. And when I moved back, I moved back in October. And it was right as winter was approaching. And I first of all was like what am I doing, but also, if I can learn how to be happy in winter in Fargo, North Dakota, I can be happy anywhere. And so it was kind of this personal mission and I kind of had a tendency of just moving to try to escape myself. It was kind of just this thing, like I had decided to move home for a bunch of different reasons. And I was going to just be with myself and enjoy it no matter what. And so I really started to lean into winter and like what is it about this season that is very enjoyable, and, and not fight it. And that's one thing that drives me insane about people in Fargo especially. And I've been guilty of this, but it's just like we complain so much about the weather, but it's like, well, we're choosing to live here and the weather is like this every year so why are we fighting it? You know, we've gotten so used to our modern conveniences that we think we're greater than the weather like I don't know so um, so then I started learning more there's a lot of seasonal healing is very prominent in a lot of ancient traditions. Ayurveda is very revolved around seasons. Chinese medicine works a lot with the seasons and the elements. And those are very common in holistic healing. And so I started learning more about Ayurveda because I was the yoga person and I felt really drawn to the seasonal aspect of that. And so that's when I kind of started nerding out more about learning, different practices to use and each season different spices, different foods, what my own body constitution is and how I can care for that depending on the season. And so I learned a lot of really interesting things about that but also where I kind of got held up with Ayurveda was that was developed in India, which is completely different climate and culture of what I'm experiencing. And so I started to learn more study more about herbalism in general, and really embracing the plant medicine and the natural elements that are here for me personally, and come from my own lineages and, and cultural traditions. So. So it simplified a lot. And I, so I, then I just started looking out my window and connecting with the plants, like I didn't realize that these weeds growing in my backyard were very medicinal plants that I could cultivate and use. And so it was just kind of, again, I felt, I fell into that trap of needing to look outside of my own backyard to learn about seasonal living, setting a tradition that is very wise and aspects I still follow, some of them, but like, going to India like to learn about seasonal healing in Fargo, North Dakota, like it just, there's, there's a disconnect. And so I started to be like, Okay, I think I just need to simplify, trust what I'm feeling in my body, trust the elements that are happening outside and start responding to that. And so, which is the simplest, cheapest thing to do, but it was like, No, I need to learn all of these other things, you know, from. So it was just really interesting. And so and so I started to really cultivate that knowledge with my own local area, and how my body is responding to a rainy day or a sunny day or windy day, or like, what I need to do based on the winter in Fargo, North Dakota is going to be very different than somebody wintering even somewhere else in the Midwest, you know.


And so it's been a fun, evolution and adventure. But I noticed that when I nourish that, in a very personal way, it governs my healing practices. And it helps me with where I'm at right now in my body.

And so that's what I'm starting to teach people in my community, but also, with my online programs and in the podcast is just how can we align ourselves with the natural rhythms and cycles that are going on around us, literally, but then also embracing different seasons of our life, and different seasons of where we're at with our even with as a woman like in our woman's cycle, month to month, its its own story. If we're perimenopause, if we're pregnant, if we're, you know, if we've had if we don't cycle anymore, for whatever reason. And so getting into the nitty gritty of that. But it gives, I think, my general principle, I'm getting on a tangent with this, because there's so many aspects to it, but we need structure. And that is something that I have been in denial of my whole life, because I'm very free spirited, and didn't think I had to follow any of those rules. But it's very beneficial for me to have some sort of structure. But what kind of structure supports me, and what kind of structure brings me down. The traditional structures, working nine to five, all of that, you know, masculine energy, I was always resistant to. But when I started leaning into natural cycles of things, my own personal cycles of things, my own energy levels, what's happening in the nature around me, those support me, and those are very easy to follow. Because that's what we're all doing as living things. And so when I invite people to use seasonal healing, you can go as deep with it as you want to go or you can go as basic as you want to go. But it just provides you a structure to be checking in regularly. When you approach things as seasons. It's part of the structure to have change. And that's what's happening in our lives. And I think us feeling like we can't have change and denying change is where we get caught up. And so it's like, okay, well I know that in three months or so, there's going to be a season change. So I'm going to use that time to reevaluate what I'm doing for my practices how the last 3 months have gone, how I want to move into the next season of my life. And it becomes this beautiful invitation to just pause and reflect, and course correct, which is what we need to be doing anyway for our health, because our bodies are constantly changing and our situation constantly changing. And so that's why I love seasonal healing, because it, like I said, can be very, very basic, you can just look outside, you know, trust what's happening. I mean, even Starbucks knows what to do they have their pumpkin spice lattes, every fall, like, you know, it's just like, what can you are not meant to have everything all the time. And it can be very precious to have certain things, you only do certain times of the year, and you have traditions and rituals that you get to look forward to, and you let them go. And then you know that they're going to come back next time. And it's fun, I think. So. That's the gist of it. And I'm trying to work this membership site, I just launched, structured in a way where we get to apply it literally, and to our self-care and where we're at. And it's been really fun to see how it's just this really cool layer that is very profound in our healing when we quit trying to fight, what isn't working, and we follow the cycles that are happening naturally.


Krista Dicks: Yeah, very cool. I’m still on the seasons would like, would you say that there's one theme to each season, that you could at least kind of just start to evaluate I mean like definitely like evaluating your health, as you described, and where your career is at, and you know, all your relationships and things seasonally as well. But if you're going to approach, you know, spring, would there be a particular thing that you should consider looking at, or doing in the season?


Randi Kay: So a lot of it's very intuitive. But it's like, for spring if we start there. What's happened right before is that, you know, we've been more sedentary, we've, it's stillness, its introspection, it's letting things rest. And so then when spring comes along, there's this urge to re awaken. So that's a lot of times when we do like our spring cleaning, we do cleanses. So one thing that I used to do is I would do this raw juice cleanse in the middle of winter. And I'm not a big raw juice cleanse person anyway, but like, that is not a very wise time of year to be doing something like that you have no support, you're depleted from, you know, depending on where in the world you are, but like, we're depleted on vitamin D, we're, you know, we're going into all of our resources. So why would I do a juice cleanse when I have no resources, you know what I mean? Like, so, it, that's a time when we need to be keeping things stored, and nourishing, not letting things leave us. So that's just a little example. But like, so when we get to spring time, then that's when we have more sunlight, we have more growth, we have fresh, you know, produce we could be accessing, although in North Dakota takes a while for that. But like, so that's kind of what we use that for as reawakening and sloughing off what we don't need any more from the winter.


And then when we come to summer, that's a time of really have abundance of energy, we have more sunlight, so we can be more active even with our exercise. Waking up earlier, going to bed later. Like that's when we can really prioritize some of those more active activities. And that would be a good time, you know, in your business or your practice to maybe take on some more projects or whatever, when you have more resources available. And then in the fall, that's when we get to experience harvest. And so it's like, it's a preparation season. So we get to again, declutter and let go of the summer and clean the dirt from the floors that the dogs brought in, that’s the story of my life, I have two big dogs. But like, you know what I mean, so we just like we store things up in jars and get our life together. And so we can go into hibernation again. And then we get to enjoy hibernation because we've prepared for it. And we get to let ourselves rest be more introspective, develop curriculum, do some more personal growth type stuff, get more sleep, things like that. So I don't know if that is what you're asking. But it seems so obvious when you say it out loud. But we just get in our breasts of things. And we forget that like, oh, yeah, what can I do this season that's supportive? And it helps with decision making. Because I think, I mean, there have been a lot of studies done around our society and too many decisions, and that leading to poor decisions or no decisions at all. And so when we can, we can have something that helps us filter through what we do with our lives. Seasonal practices are, it's a great structure to follow. So you're not trying to do everything all the time.


Krista Dicks: Right, and yeah, not feeling that guilt, about having a little bit less energy in the winter, you can totally embrace like, nope, this is just time to time hibernate with a good book, you know, not to feel guilty that you're not taking on that new project, or you're not having new creative ideas, you know, as you might in the spring or the summer, just kind of letting things go.


Randi Kay: When you think about like, if they felt guilty for hibernating, you know what I mean? Like, the plants and animals didn't hibernate, and they didn't rest, they wouldn't be able to survive, and produce and continue on their life. And we're not different than the trees, we really aren't. They're very intelligent. And I really nerd out about trees, that's conversation for another day. But, but like, we get to follow the wisdom of the pace of the seasons, just like every other living thing does, it is so wise for us to take time to rest. Because if we don't, we know what happens. It's happening now. And there's nothing to feel guilty about, I think it's selfish to continue to go at the pace we've been going at, because that comes from ego that us trying to save face and care what everyone else is thinking and feeling like we have to keep up with this person or that person or whatever, that's selfish. It's not selfish to take care of yourself. So you can keep showing up for the world. Like, if you're not healthy. No one in your life can even receive anything from you. And what they're receiving is probably very negative programming that you keep perpetuating into the world. Think of what it would be like in your household. If you all practice self-care. And its fun with kids, because they get, they get into it. And it might not be like this relaxing zen experience. But you're teaching them how to process emotions, and how to relax and kids are stressed out right now. And so it's so much more powerful, to be able to embrace the wisdom of all of these ebbs and flows of our life. And to stand up for that is hard. And, unfortunately, but it's getting easier. And you're providing an invitation for other people to do it too, because everybody else wants to do it, but they're not. So just think of all that's possible. If you are healthy, think about what your life could be like, if you're really tended to these issues. And as practitioners, we get to do that ourselves.


So that we can teach our clients how to do it and teach them with confidence. I used to teach massage therapy, and at that school I was at, we had to go over their soap notes and they had to list three things that they would do for self-care. And the students just kind of turn into robots of being like, drink lots of water, do some stretching. And I'm like, you know, like, okay, let's think about this. These are not very intelligent pieces of advice. They're all true, but like, you know they didn't know themselves on how to take care of their own bodies. And that's one thing I added to my teaching regime, that they thanked me for maybe later. But it's like we are health practitioners like, its okay for us to have health issues. But if we're not doing the work to really heal, like, we just end up sounding like robots to our clients. Like, the reason why I'm effective with people is I can say firsthand. I've been there. I know how you're feeling. This is what I've done. This is how it could apply to you. And so I, and people can sense that truth, that confidence. And that only comes from doing your own work.


Krista Dicks: Yeah. I think that's a really wonderful way to be reminded that as we all go back to our practices now that things are starting to reopen, I think that's a wonderful reminder. You know, even just before we started recording, we, you know, I said, Are you back full time? And you're like, I don't know what that means anymore. So yeah, I think, what did we learn from this experience? And are we going to apply it or continue the same way we have as healthcare practitioners coming back into it a world that needs more understanding. And everybody's been through the same storm. But yeah, so we're all coming at it from different ways. But yeah, I think that's a wonderful way.


Randi Kay: I like that you brought that up. That's one a conversation I've been having with a lot of my peers here, as we both touch in with each other on what we're doing and what we're going to do. And it's been stressful, because I don't know how it was where you guys were at. But like, we were government mandated to shut down and couldn't practice. And that was a huge identity shaker for us. And as for most people, and that's where my seasonal healing training, I really had to practice it, because I was like, Okay, I am being forced into a season of rest. But I also really wanted it like, all of us were like, Yeah, I was tired. I was working too hard. I was taking too much for my clients that I had to work a certain amount to do XYZ. And like, though, as stressed as and worried, as we all were, we're always we're also we're like, wasn’t that kind of nice. You know like in some way, like, and so that's the question a lot of us are asking like. So right now I operate a 2000 square foot studio with renters and all this stuff. And I was really debating if that was the path I wanted to continue on. And a lot of it was tied up in identity and ego, like I had spent four years building this having to be a part of a community and getting the bragging rights of operating something like that. And the whole time, my body was like, this is not for you, this is not for you. But it was what I committed to so I kept going with it.


During quarantine, it was very, it was very clear to me. When I finally slowed down and got off that cycle of having to maintain that full time. My body was like, No, this is not. And I'm just like a fine. I know. And so, like I'm in the process of just simplifying my practice, and moving into a different season of life. Like that's what it is. And it's okay that I'm letting it go. And I can let it go with joy instead of feeling like a failure, something like he's just like, No, I did that for that season of life. And it was awesome. And I learned so much and I'm moving into something else that's also going to be awesome, but better for my life right now. And so most practitioners I've talked to are not taking on the client love they did before and pursuing other streams of income or, or just simplifying their lives and their overheads, so they don't have to work as much and then other people I've talked to have this surge of energy to grow. Like I met with people that are interested in taking over my studio space that are like, yeah, during quarantine. I realized I want to do this I want to grow I want to expand my healing and I'm like, awesome, here you go. It is your season now for that, you know, like, and it's just like so wherever you're at. I felt like I feel like it was an opportunity for all of us to just like hear our truth. And like you said, we get to choose how we're going to move forward. And, of course, we have to honor our commitments and obligations. But how can those be negotiated? And how can we continue to keep the things that we actually enjoyed during this time? And not just repeat the chaos that was created.


Krista Dicks: Wonderful. Well I do want to respect your time. I haven’t even looked up since we have been talking, it's been awesome. Are you able to touch on one of your other principles that is simplifying your life? And you know, you just sort of mentioned it there in the last comment, are you able to expand more on how you see simplifying as sort of an essential component of creating a healing environment?


Randi Kay: Again that came from my own unintentional adventures. I really got into simplifying my belongings I went from. I, well, I was married before and sharing personal stuff, because whatever, but that's how I've come to me who I am. But I had developed this life with this person. And we were finally starting to accumulate all these material things and just like thinking that mattered, and all this stuff, and we had an amicable divorce. We were married young and learned all sorts of things during that time. But it was like, overnight, those things we had acquired together. Didn't matter anymore. They didn't mean anything. And I actually ended up selling everything. And I was just like, huh, and I moved back, I was living in Utah, I moved back to Fargo, I was only planning on being in Fargo for a year, by the way, it's been 7 now. Because I love the winter here now. Anyway, so I just moved back with anything I could fit in my Subaru and moved into one bedroom, studio apartment with like an air mattress and a lamp, I was like 27 years old, and I was so happy. It's just like, this is so fun. And I get to just bring into my life, whatever matters to me. And I found it to be very therapeutic, to just let go of all these things that I thought that I needed and thought identified me. And so I basically had a blank slate. And then I started getting into like the minimalist movement and befriended some people in that industry and learn that there was that it was actually a thing that people did. And, and so I started studying that lifestyle and just really resonated with it. And it helped with my mental health. It was an aspect of my depression that I just didn't realize was a thing. And I realized that my relationship with stuff was a reflection of what was going on internally. And so I did I like have a capsule wardrobe. I like did all that. And then without thinking, life started to rebuild itself. I got distracted again, you know, like all this other things. And then eventually I remarried and moved in, bought a house with my husband and we had his things his things people the previous owners had left. His buddy that moved unloaded a bunch of stuff, his mom unloaded a bunch of stuff. All of a sudden, I was filled with this house with a bunch of stuff. And even though I was happy in my life, with my new marriage and the studio, and all these things, I was feeling really depressed and anxious because of all the stuff around me. And so it just like yeah, and I share this just because it matters like and a lot of us just don't think that it does, but how we are with one thing is how we are with everything.


And so I noticed like how I the accumulation of stuff was showing me that I was also ignoring parts of myself, and ignoring how I felt about things and my own health. And I noticed when I really start to nurture my healing, then I noticed the clutter. And, and when I get rid of it, I just take a big deep breath. Like it all fits together. Like I said before, like connecting the dots of like, everything is an expression of everything. And so when we simplify our lives, and it's kind of fun to just start with our physical things, it's the easiest thing to look at. And, you know, you can do the Marie Kondo thing like you know, whatever style you resonate with my friend, Courtney Carver has a book called Project 333, which is how I started with my closet. And I really liked her approach. But, you know, it just again, is a gateway to how things are making you feel I didn't realize I was I had a layer of stress when I looked into my closet, or looked in my pantry, or went into the basement, like it all. And so right now, my mom is being wonderful and helping me paint the house before baby comes. And I knew I didn't like the paint color, but just kept not caring and not caring, and then having it repainted. I look at my living space, and I take a deep breath, you know. And so, again, it has to be accessible to you. And like, I might feel very superficial saying, my paint colors are now what I want them to be like. But like, whatever you can control, like if you live in an apartment, there's like a lot of things that you can't, so you take what you can and really take ownership of what you have in your life and what you have control over and make it intentional, like a lot of the simple shining movement is also called intentional living. Because you're being intentional about what you bring into your life, including your relationships. That was another thing is I always grew up a big people pleaser, a big extrovert. And I realized and that's something I'm still working on. But it doesn't serve me to have a bajillion friends and be everywhere all the time. It's not very fulfilling, actually. And so, my husband is very introverted. And I remember when we started, like, just hanging out with the same people all the time, and I was just like, oh, my gosh, this feels weird. Is this okay? Is this okay? That I only hang out a few people don't it don't need to be like, it was it was super weird. And surprising, but I guess that's my own neuroses. Like, I am more satisfied with a more intentional, closer friend group, I still like being friends with everybody, but like, they just serve different purposes in my life, I'm not trying to be best friends with every human being, you know, and so, you start with your closet, and then it moves into these other areas of life. And, or you start with your friends wherever you want to start. But then you see that it actually influences your energy levels and your body pain and your digestion. Like we the body up regulates, right. So we have these different layers of stress that's going on. And each stressor compounds upon itself. So if you are really stressed out about your so you have, you get a cold, okay. And so your immune system is sacrificed and you don't have enough reserves, but then all of a sudden, you lose your job. And you don't have the same resources to deal with that. So now you're responding to also the pressures of that stressor. And then you get home from losing your job and your kitchen is a mess. And that just triggers more stress. And then something happens with your loved one.


And so all these layers of stress are constantly influencing us. So we don't think about the benefits of removing these smaller layers of stress, but they're actually deregulating the body, because then you can use that energy into dealing with these other stressors. And so everything that's in your control, in a healthy way, control it, because it's going to help you deal with the things that are out of your control. And there's a lot out of our control right now. And so we need everything we can get. And so we get to simplify our lives and that's an ongoing lifelong thing, but it's a practice, right? But that is going to help us have the reserves to be able to approach our current stressors, but also things that happen suddenly. Like, even with the pandemic, if you weren't stocked up on toilet paper, like, look out, you know, like, if we don't have our reserves, when something strikes, you got nothing. And so that's also the motivator of self-care and simplifying all this stuff. So we have reserves, and can respond with those reserves. So that's how simplifying fits into everything is just another layer, it's a very powerful layer that we tend to ignore, because we just haven't connected those dots yet. But once you do, it's really powerful. And, and it helps following some sort of structure to like with the seasons, is like that simplifies your healing decisions. You're no longer looking to what everyone else is doing all the time, or thinking you have to do yoga and meditation and journaling and blah, blah, blah, getting massages all the time, like you, you'll be like, you know what, this is what's happening to me right now. This is the season that I'm in, these are the one or two practices I'm going to do. And those are going to be more effective, because they're wise decisions. So yeah, I could talk about simplifying for a long time.


Krista Dicks: I could to. I do follow, like minimalism. And everybody that you've had on your podcast I you know, I admire and I think it's incredible that you've been able to speak with them one on one. So yeah, I'm definitely agree. And, and it's interesting, you know, as you said, like, it's a really great indicator, you get rid of the stuff, but if you don't really see it eventually reveals what really needs to heal in, in who you are, right, like getting rid of the stuff is the first step. But then if the stuff just keeps coming back, then that's a really good indicator that obviously, some other work needs to be done. And so I found that really fascinating. And then even, just to your point about the about the change in the paint color, you know, like we're all in quarantine, we're spending a lot more time in our homes and sudden, I think, like, I don't know why we suddenly felt like, well, this is where I spend most of my time anyway. Like, why wouldn't I want it to be this, this place of just like a place that's beautiful, and that I love and I want to be surrounded by the things that I want in my life, I don't want to be surrounded by my brother in law's like, you know what, like, items that he just dropped off. You know, like, that's just because that carries energy as well. And as you mentioned, you've you're very sensitive to that. So is it just having that, like, whatever you say, is accessible to, to like, just change something, if it'll make you feel better it like in your space, I think that that is really important. Like, without quarantine, I got more into like cleaning, like I can clean. But like, when the quarantine came, like it just really got into it. And I'm in an apartment, and I think a part of me was also just like, well, it's not like, I don't own it. So like, I don't feel like I really have to like, get into it. Like, why should I bother? But then when I realized like, well, we might be here for a while I should take some ownership of it and just really make it a space that that is like ground level, like, clean. And so yeah, I kind of resonate with that for sure. I'm simplifying. Yeah, and I love the way that you explained it. As for healing. I think that that makes a lot of sense.


I don't want to be the last one to talk but I also think that I've taken up enough of your time. So where can people continue to learn more about you to learn from you and to visit you?


Randi Kay: I think I am the most on Instagram @NaturallyRandiKay, and that's where I do most of my, I don't know, teachings and stuff. But then I also the podcast is a very way of tuning in and getting to know me and hearing from a lot of other cool people as well. So that's “Simple self-care”, and you can tune into that wherever you listen. I have a newsletter that I send out called the “Simple Letters”. And so there's a lot of podcast updates, as well as seasonal tips and simplifying tips, whatever is on my mind basically, that week. And you can sign up for that at “NaturallyRandiKay.com/newsletter”. I will be blogging more, I'm on a podcast break right now. So I'm hoping to provide more educational things on the blog. And then I just launched my, it's called the “Simple Nature Collective”. So that is my new baby of all things, seasonal healing, and it's geared for women with chronic pain and chronic health issues. And so I'll be opening that up again, this fall, I'm doing my first round of the summer session right now. So if you're interested in that, you can just follow me on any of the things and learn that way. Or you can go to “NaturallyRandiKay.com/simplenature”, and get on the waitlist for when I'll be opening up again in the fall. So lots of fun things going on, I get to when I simplify my healing practice, then I get to show up more for the world. So hopefully, this next coming little bit, there'll be a lot more resources, but there's already a lot there. I mean, just going back and listening to the podcast, there's a lot of really good stuff with really cool guests there. But then you can always just reach out and send me an email or a DM on Instagram, I really like to just talk to people. And so you know, it's as you know, as a podcaster it's kind of weird, just talking into the ether and from your room at home and then being like, is anybody there? So I always love to hear people and communicate in real life somehow, so don't be a stranger. I'd love to know what you thought of this conversation and answer any questions that way. So, yeah.


Krista Dicks: Perfect. We